Opening rant

Hello there......

I find myself increasingly frustrated by the stupidity around me day in and day out and so I have decided to add my little corner of spleen venting to the web.

It'll be a bit sweary from time to time so if you are of the shrinking violet persuasion then best give it a miss, it's also (probably) going to rip into a lot of things which are currently (and to me at least, unfathomably) popular, so if you like popular telly or 'celebs' who need their ego stroked to validate themselves, or just good ole fashioned give it a miss!

Do you have to agree with, do I care if you hate what you read, don't like it? Don't read it, last time I checked we still have freedom of choice, so exercise yours if you feel the need. Mercifully I don't require validation, chip in if you have something useful to add, otherwise go forth, I'm just here to vent, it makes me smile and you may get a giggle out of it too.

Oh......and if you've found your way here from our website but closed that window, then click here to get back there (if you want to that is, it's not compulsory).

Wednesday, 25 May 2011

Another of those WTF moments

Add to the category of ‘you couldn’t make it up’……

A 33 year old father of 5 (and convicted burglar), is to argue in court that his 8 month sentence (4 for burglary and 4 for dangerous driving), “violates his right to respect for family life under article eight of the Human Rights Convention”, it gets better because he’s been granted legal aid, guess who’ll pick up the bill for that then.

Article eight covers “right to respect for private and family life” and his lawyers seem to think he has a good chance because under article eight the sentence appears to have a “disproportionate” effect on his family life……

Fuck me!!!! I know that for the most part I’ll be preaching to the converted already, but this country really needs to wake the fuck up before it’s too bloody late. I suppose that the actions of this twat had no effect on the human rights of his victims, if they did then that fact seems to have been swept under the carpet for the purposes of this case. This moron has joint custody so it’s not like his kids have no one to care for them, perhaps he needs to consider the effect his actions have on his family, he’s hardly what you’d call a role model, rather than try and leverage his way out of the consequences of his crimes using them.

Once again it seems that the human rights act does what it’s best at, protects the rights of scumbags, costs the taxpayer money and makes the lawyers an extra few quid, and don’t get me started on the swathe of looney liberals who I’ve heard trying to defend this case this morning already, to a man (sorry, person), they are as clueless as a monkey in charge of a submarine!

Perhaps there does need to be some system in place to safeguard human rights, but equally I think it’s time we added a caveat to the act which states that if you’re not going to play by societies rules then you can’t expect those rules to protect you if you act like such a spectacular douche bag! 

Working Girl

So, there we are on the station run this morning and we pass by a bus stop where a young lady wearing little more than a belt (cunningly disguised as a skirt), is flashing her stocking tops to the world.

Now don’t take me for a prude, it’s a great look for a night out maybe and as a card carrying member of the male gender, a look which in the right place I can whole heartedly approve of, but if the lady is off to work, then I can only think of one profession where rocking up in this outfit is going to be acceptable……

……either that or dress standards really have gone tits up since the days when I used to have to hire staff.

Monday, 23 May 2011

Kill me now……

That’s it, I REALLY need to find a job, I’ve started to browse ‘chick flicks’ on iTunes...

…and you know what? I even considered buying one, good lord I must be bored.

Goddamn it……well He would but I think Saturday’s little debacle kind of proved that at the very least He ain’t payin’ attention anymore. I mean, couldn’t even get off His omnipotent arse to rapture us all.

 Oh well, time for coffee and then maybe I’ll start building my escape shuttle for 2012!

Saturday, 21 May 2011

Let’s all pick a date we agree on

It can’t be that difficult, can it?

I mean supposedly you’re all getting the message from the same source, is it too much to expect that you all concur?

How many more times must I prepare my loved ones for the oncoming zombie apocalypse, only to find out that you bloody religious zealots have stuffed up……again!

It’s a hell of a chore I can tell you, the tears, recriminations and general merriment (unfounded and misplaced in my opinion) as I once again ready my underground bunker (which I hasten to add took me bloody weeks to carve out with a serving spoon, and do I get any thanks?), to withstand the massed legions of the undead and save those I hold dear from the oncoming smite-fest……and nothing happens!!!

I’m telling you, it is getting harder to convince those around me that there is any breath of sanity left in me……

Thursday, 19 May 2011

Salesman of the year

......and this is why I decided to rant on and on here. It saves me smacking someone in the mouth purely for the delight of seeing them lying in a pool of their own teeth.

So we ordered some new vertical blinds, great. They arrive on time and to the right place, even better but here's where the fun starts......the website says that the blinds come with all the fixtures for top and face mount options.

Except they don't, they only come with top mount. No problem I ring them and they obligingly send out some face mounts which arrive this very AM. Only 4 of them one checks the order or they'd see that with 3 metres of blind I'm going to need at least 7 or 8 of them.

Now, rather than ring up again I rather stupidly head out the door to buy them locally. 3 DIY stores later and no joy, so as a last resort I spot a Paul Simon store, you know the guys who specialise in curtains and blinds among other things. I trot up to the curtain floor and with a flourish produce my sample......

'Can I buy a half dozen of these, please?' I begin cheerily.

'What are those?', now this isn't good and I check to make sure I am in the curtain and blind section and then tell him they are face mounts......

'What are they for?'

THEY ARE FOR FIXING A FUCKING BLIND TO THE WALL YOU DIM WITTED COCK what I would have liked to say, after all it's not unreasonable to assume that he is familiar with the product he supposedly sells, however I do explain in a more sympathetic tone.

I am told that they don't sell them separately anymore......'What do I do if I break one?' I enquire.

'Buy a new blind' the smug cunt replies and thus I exit, but not before dobbing him in to the manager all the while fighting the urge to rain great harm on the twat.

Now I know I'm a bit sweary here but I spent nearly 25 years in customer driven jobs and I was bloody good at it, which is why this sort of attitude pisses me off so much, can't help won't help, don't have an answer and can't be arsed to go look for one. Just buy a replacement for £50 for the sake of a 40 pence bracket.

It won't surprise you to know that I won't be returning to Paul Simon anytime soon......

Wednesday, 18 May 2011

Can I get a 'Told you so'?

Union boss voted 'man with the most punchable face' for the last 5 yeas running, Bob Crowe is at it again. Now to be fair (and that really sticks in my throat where Mr Crowe is concerned), Network Rail have already pulled this stunt. but it appears that the RMT are now trying to blag a deal to ensure that the they won't take strike action during the Olympics......

They want an extra £3.50 an hour for staff covering the games, and a pay deal of a 10% rise over two years and a promise of no sackings during the games.

What fucking planet are these people on? Currently I'm unemployed, made redundant at the end of January, I was an IT and Facilities Manager and also attended roughly 25 medical conferences in the UK and Europe each year, I probably did a shit load more than most tube drivers, I spent an awful lot of time on the road and away from friends and family and got paid a shit load less than a driver's salary for my trouble. (That's not a plea for sympathy, I enjoyed my job and would still be happily doing it now if the hammer had not fallen).

My point is that people in this country are losing their jobs daily, I personally know 4 in the last week an a half, and this twat is trying to have London Underground over a barrel using the Olympics as leverage. It's about time somebody at LU 'manned up', and told these union idiots (who almost to a man still seem to think it's the 1970's), to take a vacation where the sun doesn't shine. The labour force want to take strike action......let them, it might be worth pointing out what the current unemployment figure is as they head out the door, then suggest that it might be best if they didn't come back. The capital is full of unemployed people who would be happy to replace them......I know where they can find 5 immediately.